My husband says hilarious things in bed...

Wanna find out all the crazy things you say in your sleep?  There's an app for that!  Since we've been married, one of the funniest things has been all the hilarious things that Ryan blurts out in the night.  In order to reveal to him how entertaining he is, I got this app that is a voice activated recorder, so you leave it on all night and it only records when someone is talking.  It has not only illustrated to him his funny sleep talking, but it has also shown us that not only does he talk in his sleep, but so do I, AND we have CONVERSATIONS in our sleep in the middle of the night!  Apparently, we're meant to be.  Here are just a few examples.

Ryan: Little....little....little....little bo peep?  Nuh uh, now its not gonna happen

Ryan: Whatcha reading about?
Me: What?
Ryan: What are you reading?
Me: I'm not really reading anything....
Ryan: Oh okay

Ryan: Hey buddy....feelin' okay??

Ryan: You know what....take that to the tollway though... you're not shooting that gun! I'm telling alright, you're not! Don't even think about it!

Me:  Look at that its red!!
Ryan: What is?
Me: The room!
Ryan: Oh laying on your.. on your side?
Me: Yeah, it like, it kinda like warms it up so the red like dilludes itself
Ryan: Oh thats interesting.

Ryan: The, the monkey...wearing stupid clothing

Me: Wanna play?  This ones dead, ya know that? No? Yeah they are

Ryan: (Said with a western accent) Its kinda cool if drive fast

Ryan: Dad? Is that good?  Your slacks?
Me: mmmhmmm
Ryan:You look up? Stradict?
Me: mmmhmmm

Ryan: Put together a tiny bit of a bill!

Ryan: You knew it was gonna happen you dumb idiot girl! You knew it was gonna happen and you do it anyway, you freakin morons!
Me: Me?
Ryan: Yeah, all of you, you knew it would flip it at the end.  Why don't you ever think ahead huh?
Me: Oh noooo, sorry! Sorry you could beat us!

Ryan: Sup the street Rydawg? Pretty good.  Its alright, not too great yet.  Just okay. Yeahhh, not great but not terrible over here.  All right then.  Keep it up, keep it good.  See ya dude. 

Ryan: Hahahahahaha.....football TV is the best day

Ryan: Hurry and step in, step in, step in, STEP, come on, NOW!  Don't talk to me.

Ryan: Dude I had an incoup site literally like days after you told me to get one.  Like thats not even one single bit exaggerated.  Literally.  Ask, ask little sister vibration she's like one and a half down street, down some street.  So suck on that biatches who don't believe me. 

Me: Not a q-tip, toilet paper!